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The Gentleman’s Handbook: Smell the Roses

[audio:http://dreamlandapparel.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/08-Frank-Sinatra-08-summer-wind-.mp3|titles=08 - Frank Sinatra - 08-summer wind]

“Gentleman” is a term, like all others, that individuals are certain contains a universal definition. However, as I intend to indirectly establish herein is that such assumptions, like all others, are utter horse shit! Strong language? Perhaps, but a gentleman uses all words effectively, (a point which will be brought up again in the “Sound” edition). Thus, considering today’s musings regard the realms of scent and not speech, let us employ the latter to discuss the first and alas stop to smell the roses.

The sense we’ve titled “scent” is as complex as any other. And like its siblings it benefits from experimentation and multi-faceted use. In order to cover such of vast variety of possible employment I have divided this chapter into three titled sections: Products; Personal; and Premonitions.

Products: Now although this title (in association with the topic) conjure’s up images of drugstore aisles and cosmetic counters let’s try to think outside the box. Certainly it is important to use soaps and perfumes that are cleansing and complimentary. However, this is information I pray you are already aware of. If you are not… please apologize to the person next to you, purchase some steel-wool and bleach, and scrub until the pain becomes unbearable.

Now, what I hope to discuss in this segment is instead products like coffee and wine. Though I am not a professional connoisseur in either category, I do appreciate the craft involved in becoming one. First, when entering a quality coffee shop notice the list of un-ground beans and the flavors embedded within them. Take note of these details prior to ingestion and see how your taste-buds correspond. Over time you will learn what smells aid your mastication needs. The same suggestions apply to the world of wine. By comparing listed information with your palate and aromatic interests your sensory depths will heighten. So much so that eventually by smell alone you’ll know what suits your fancy.

Personal: Again, this is not about whether or not you have applied antiperspirant. For those still consumed by such concerns… steal some industrial cleaner from a janitorial closet near you and suds up ASAP! Anyways, the discussion here regards your diet (a topic that will be more adequately covered in “Taste”). To make a long story short, what you eat equates to what you excrete. From pores to bathroom breaks your appetite defines your odor. Excessive red meat is the male species greatest enemy in the quest towards smelling good. Furthermore, all things processed will play foul with your fragrance. Vegetables boys, and lots of them, are your source for friendly effluxion.

Premonitions: Let us again close with the curve central to the male mind, the female. When I say “premonitions” I allude to the concept of sense memory. Namely, the ability to recall details via information acquired from the senses of days gone by.

The belief in “love at first sight” is debated and discussed among all. For those truly in love the emotion sinks deeper, down the eyelids to the bridge of the nose. There it sits, purifying the air just as it perfected your vision. Entrancing you with it’s intoxicating aura; hair, skin, and the aroma of her breath as it is inhaled by your own. And the purpose for this twain cavity that protrudes before your face becomes clear… love is not just a painting to coo over, it is also a drug to be inhaled.

May the scents be sweet before you, and the summer wind come blowing in.


  • Anonymous

    Washing with steel wool would not be a good look.  I saw a horror movie where that happened and the end result was bad!

    • Anonymous

      Ya, but this is the “smell” portion. After rescuing that failure the cleansed individual can reflect back to chapter one to correct their now sightly mishap ;) LOL

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000583209773 Sabrina Camp

    i like this blog – really funny!!
    and great pictures :)

  • Chris Elliott

    Dope blog brother. Sorry it took me so long to get around to reading this. I wanted to give it my full attention and an honest read. Very well written, and I appreciate your ability to properly articulate your views on these issues. V’s up. For no reason. 

    • Anonymous

      Glad you enjoyed… and there is never a rush to read. Hopefully I will have “Taste” out within the next week :) These are fun to write. After I finish I plan to start “The Real American Apparel” series, of which I hope you and John will be a part. 

      • Chris Elliott

        Glady dude. I think that idea we had was awesome. 3-man showcase!
        Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
        Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

  • Amandalstrang

    I enjoyed this one, just as much as the first! It was a fun read!

    • Anonymous

      You’re gonna LOVE the next chapter… it’s on TASTE :)  

      PS found a cool cookbook for you. 

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