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Post Script: Giving Up

PRESS PLAY & BEGIN READING:

[audio:http://dreamlandapparel.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/The-Village-The-Gravel-Road.mp3|titles=The Village - The Gravel Road]

When I finished “Hopeless Romantic” I finally thought I’d written all I could on the subject. I’d sealed up the affair as a trilogy and scored it with a closing balled. Then the impression to write a ‘post script’ occurred; and a new idea began to fester in my mind. However, like the first chapter, putting my hands on the keyboard took me nearly a month.

I have numerous notes in different journals. Treasured reminders some of them: pithy little paragraphs discussing friends in timeless romances; as well as some calming suggestions.

Eventually it seems we’re confronted with a weighty choice: to give up or not. Loved ones struggle the most to see us do the same. When it comes to love they feel we deserve the best. Thus, when the depression of heartache troubles our souls they remind us it’s a sign. They remind us it’s a sign to move on, that the present failure is an eternal marker.

It’s as though the violins weep when this news is broken, and the plucking of the bass works to rattle us to the core. It’s so obvious isn’t it? That “Happily Ever After” is far from reality. Hell, you and her being a reality is questionable at best. So with all that said… shouldn’t you acquiesce and just give up?

The question demands some depth, but eventually you have to answer it. Eventually you have to realize you’ll live a lifetime, and ask if it will be with her. No one will understand at first why you bother with this query (even if once upon a time they pondered the same). The pain of opening one’s heart can only be endured alone when all is said and done.

I’ve read of those who traversed many miles to regain what they lost in ignorance. I’ve seen some confess the same error after years. I’m unaware of where my own journey may lead, but I nevertheless pray for the strength to take it.

What I do know, I now know without a question. I haven’t smiled the same in months, yet I miss another’s and not my own. I know I’m frustrated with my stoic approach; my monkish resolve though peaceful rarely prospers. I know my unquenchable desire has gotten me nowhere, and I know despite this it remains. I know I’m up late on a Sunday night trying to make this sound perfect, and hoping that still matters.

I know I can’t give up, and I know I don’t know why. It’s confusing, it sounds foolish even, but it is my knowledge nonetheless. Dante had to digress through Hell and climb up Purgatory’s mountain. He had to snap out of the trance that was Eden, and bow before the doors of Paradise before he reached his Beatrice.

Virgil: Good Friday is soon approaching and I’m nearing life’s halfway point. Before the beasts consume my soul, take my hand and guide me to my love… this I humbly ask.

Comments

  • Kimberly Applewhite

    The halfway point of your life? Are you that old? I thought Mormons had more life in them than that :)

    Good post!

    • Anonymous

      Hahahaha! It’s part of the opening line of “Inferno.” Dante was 34 years old, and according to theological understanding at the time life was thought to last 70 years.

      Glad you enjoyed :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Christopher-Michael-Elliott/500513490 Christopher Michael Elliott

    Great post man. That music always touches me. Very well done as usual. You own this topic sir. I fear stepping to it ever again ahahah.

    • Anonymous

      I know very little about love lil bro… all I’ve learned is to admit that I am in such.

  • Anonymous

    Well done homie! The closing two paragraphs are beasts! Only thing is, I just realized im half way thru my life! DAAAMMMMNNNN!!!

    • Anonymous

      Thx man… this one was hard to write and I really didn’t think I did a good job. It is so hard to tell the world how you feel, and to feel like it’s a good idea. Nevertheless, I am overwhelmed with this passion that I feel compelled to trap with words.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000583209773 Sabrina Camp

    don’t give up buddy.
    love, love with all your heart <3

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anastasia-Gordon/557955297 Anastasia Gordon

    SO well done !

  • Alessandra Colella

    The confusion eventually becomes what makes sense, love it Jonny, this one I can relate to from my core, and there is light at the end of the tunnel – I promise.

    • Anonymous

      Thx Allesan… I realized that this morning oddly enough. The beauty of life is that it lasts more than a day, the hope of a relationship is that it lasts a lifetime.

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