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Masculinity

I’ve been dressing myself and hand picking my clothes since I was 2 years old. I’m a student of acting. I’m an artist, a Rom-Com connoisseur and a big fan of musical theatre. If I’m upset I cry. If I’m hurt by something, I say so. I’m scared of my own shadow. I don’t watch or play team sports. I enjoy cooking and I am very neat and organized. I’m a heterosexual man.

The ongoing stigma of masculinity amongst males is an issue that has been plaguing society for centuries. Somewhere along the twisted path of civilization, there were notions established that forbid men from doing and feeling certain things. Ever since I could remember, I have been marching strongly against the grain of this issue.

Pretending is something that children do. Lying is an attribute of the weak. I am exactly who I want to be, and I could care less about anybody’s opinion of that. On this planet we get (in physical form) 1 lifespan to enjoy the natural pleasures that encompass humanity. We get to laugh, cry, hurt, and learn. It’s a goddamn waste to spend 1 second of this short, precious life entrapped in the conformity of society’s ridiculous innuendos.

In elementary school and high school, it’s difficult not to conform to the masses. Kids are harsh, and everyone is in a blind race to establish their personal identities. Going through school, I was well-liked and respected. That being said, I always caught a certain amount of flack for my less-than-masculine tendencies. I was an emotional, creative and extremely honest kid. At times it was hard, although I’m proud of my ability to consistently remain honest to myself and others about my lifestyle. There were several things that my peers poked fun at. My form fitting style of dress, the colour choice of my garments, the length of my hair, and the music I listened to. Looking back, perhaps I can’t blame a 16 year-old male for not understanding my love of Elton John, or my passion for the stage. When you’re that age, anything that is different is considered wrong. However, being well into my adult years, I still see the same ignorance resonate through a lot of men. In their minds, the idea of culture and art is homosexual or feminine. This display of ignorance and immaturity is perpetuating the preconceived notion that all men are chauvinistic, egotistical and macho. This perception is completely untrue. Men are not just men. They happen to be human as well. It is each man’s choice on how they wish to present this fact to the world.

The point of this article is not to point the finger at men who enjoy (stereotypically) masculine things. But rather to bring attention to the fact that the society is changing. People are becoming much more open minded. Fashion, music, art and emotion are not reserved strictly for the female gender. I urge men to break free of the imprisonment of society’s immaturity, and enjoy things for what they are, not what the media tells you they have to be.

I intend on living my life to the fullest, and pursuing my interests no matter how feminine they may seem to some. And for those guys out there that still disagree, you’re entitled to your opinion. No need to worry about me, I’ll be complimenting your girlfriends on their stone-washed-low-rise-Parasuco-jeans, right before I take them off.



Comments

  • Anonymous

    I do enjoy the intensity of your debate, as well as the honesty. I too have a plethora of effeminate attributes and tastes. Sure I got an obsession with my nails, and a love for the first Sex in the City movie… whatever. I get you, it’s difficult to like these things without getting flack for it. However, as you suggest, that’s who I am and thus I stick by my metaphorical guns.

    However, masculinity has never been a concern of mine. I care little of what it means to be masculine, and more about what it means to be a man. A man is a lot more than sports and beer. A man is a lot more than collecting one night stands and baggy attire. What a man is… I’m still figuring it out. But if you know one thing slime, I’ll give you my opinion on the matter whenever asked.

    Again, great work!

    • Chris Elliott

      Thanks brother. I completely agree with everything you’re saying as well. That’s another avenue of this discussion for sure.

  • Anonymous

    Great article brotherman. It’s so serious Iw on’t even joke.
    Men are confused. You’re confused. I’m Confused, Godfrey is confused. You may sit there and say “Hell no, I know what I am, who I am” but you don’t.
    We change dialy, weekly, monthly, yearly. We evolve. And it doesnt help that from birth we have been told, not just by our parents who screwed us up, but by their parents and their parents parents, how to act.
    I know men who used to be thugs and are now hipsters. I know hipsters who are now thugs. Men are confused because we see so much happening around us that we are constantly wrong for what we do. What are you not more of a man? What are you such an animal? It is a confusing thing for us and one of my favorite books, Fight Club, dealt with this well.
    Great topic.

    • Chris Elliott

      Thanks dude. I see what you’re saying and I do agree. It’s a huge, blurry and complicated issue that will probably never get resolved. At the end of the day, it’s about accepting eachother for who we are, not what we do.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Adam-Wood/541180607 Adam Wood

    Excellent piece Chris, this is an interesting one. I’ve walked in very similar shoes but have had slightly different strut – I played almost every sport (American football, football, ice hockey, track and field, hardball and softball, etc.) in a more competitive sense then city house leagues and school teams. This put my in easily with jocks. I was also able to tie my own tie (Pratt knot, full and half-Windsor) before I could lace up my shoes … true story. I wore sweater vests and loafers from the age of four up unto the time it was “cool” again (thanks Sperry). I’m a middle class white kid with a young face and “effeminate” uniqueness.

    It wasn’t until my family had questioned my sexuality (after divorcing from a gorgeous woman) and friends constantly ragged on my cuff-linked, well manicured face and nails that I decided “I need to act more masculine”. Well time has past and I have found you can only depend on yourself because the “definition of masculinity” changes every time you turn on the TV, open a magazine, or creep facebook.

    It sure isn’t acting like a man or faking who you are. It’s being.

    Thanks again and P.S. my girl did just buy a pair of black and white stone-washed-low-rise-Parasuco-jeans … but I compliment her like crazzzzy

    • Chris Elliott

      My man!!!! I love that response. I got you 100% on this issue. I’m glad to hear such positive feedback.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000583209773 Sabrina Camp

    hahaha love the last line of your blog chris.
    I chuckled!!
    it’s nice to hear someone that’s so comfortable in their own skin.
    that’s something you don’t come across all the time.
    long live enjoying life & being yourself : )

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Christopher-Michael-Elliott/500513490 Christopher Michael Elliott

      Thanks Sabrina. I appreciate you saying that. And not to sound conceited, but I think you’re right. Most people are not comfortable with who they are. This breads insecurity and in turn creates fear, which equates to hate. You see, simple math! lol Thanks again for your love.

    • Anonymous

      BRI-BRI!!! What are you talking about?!?!?! Don’t dare leap from this boat, you’re on my friend-ship!!! HAHAHAHAHA

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000583209773 Sabrina Camp

        hahahaha.
        you know you’re my bestie ;)

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