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How Not to Screw Up a First Date

[audio:http://dreamlandapparel.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/03-Sade-Smooth-Operator.mp3|titles=03 Sade - Smooth Operator]

The first date. You look polished and clean, you smell like the Rive Gauche and you’ve decided on The Black Hoof for dinner. This first impression will be good .

But if you haven’t got the manners to back it up, all your Brad Pitt looks and Tom Ford style will mean nothing to me. So here are some tips on how to treat me like a lady and keep me coming back for more (or at least, a second date).

1. Be on time. Do I even have to mention this? Picking me up is always the better option, but if you must meet me at the restaurant, be a little early – it shows your interest, your attentiveness and yes, you care. In New York, I had a date send a car to pick me up when he couldn’t. George Clooney had nothing on him.

2. Hold the door open for me. Yes, I can open it myself. But this is not about who’s the strongest, pushiest, most competitive door opener. This is about being a gentleman. So open the door to the restaurant for me and then,

3. Take my new Chloe coat. When you do, and pull out my chair for me, you can smell the new Dolce scent I’ve got on my neck, and watch the outline of my hips under my dress. It’s strategic. And every woman in the room will be wishing they weren’t sitting across from their boorish dates and were with you instead.

4. Great conversation (Tip 3.a, don’t say stupid shit: no homophobia, racism, or gender bashing. And keep your drunken college stories for a later time), you’ve offered me the last piece of chocolate cake and we’ve discussed travel, touched on politics and flirted with humor and double-entendres. It’s fantastic. Then the bill comes, and you place your half down on the table (without a tip) and look around nervously. What the hell? Don’t tell me, we’re all equal now, so pay your half? That’s a sorry excuse for pathetic behavior buddy, trust me we won’t like it. It’s not that we can’t pay. Again, call it biology and survival of the fittest: we want someone with enough common sense and kindness to pay for dinner. Yes we like feeling taken care of – you didn’t hunt the bison, but you can pay for it.

5. After dinner in the hot summer air, take me for a walk instead of inviting me back to your place, which, by the way, is in ridiculously poor taste on the first date, unless we’re both in it for the same reasons. When we do walk, keep me on the inside of the street: you’re protective and its sweet. My feminism won’t be offended. If we’re having a great time, maybe there’s an ice cream shop we can go to. Whatever it is, leave me feeling sweet and happy. It’s a first date not a rugby match. So stop trying to score.

6. Drop me at home and then, if you want and say you will call, do. Don’t wait 3 days or 5 days or some unspecified amount of time. It’s absurd. We’re old enough to be honest about what we want. So call me. Ask me to coffee. To the museum. Bring me somewhere I’ve never been. Bring me some chocolates. Or maybe a single lilac or daffodil. It’s called courtship for a reason.

If you like the girl, she’s always worth it. And if the feeling is mutual, she’ll let you know.

First dates are wonderful. Now you know how not to screw them up.



  • Anonymous

    Genius :)

    I couldn’t agree more. You’ve described what defines a true man, and a true man is what you deserve. Any man incapable of these common courtesies hasn’t got the hormones to represent the hair on his chest. This is by far your best piece yet. I will be writing on the topic of being a gentleman soon so I’ll be interested to hear what you think.

  • Anonymous

    Well done, these are all common courtesies that men should be doing without prompt.  If they don’t, you’re really meeting and attracted to the wrong men.

    Also, when a man is cheap…that’s not a good look.  No need to be extravagent but paying for a dinner and a movie or play/theatre is part of the job.  Later, when co-dependancy happens this should be split but when you first start dating…come on guys!

  • Anonymous

    This stuff isn’t common sense? I can’t say I follow all these rules after 6 years, but I still try to cover most of the bases… Excellent Article!!! My favorite one yet! – except your post on Sexy undergarments

  • Clara Vaz

    I am so glad that I write and work (a distance) with men who think like this. How refreshing. Your comments completely make me smile. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000583209773 Sabrina Camp

    LOVE this blog!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ryan-Hancock/510667721 Ryan Hancock

    I loved this blog! I’m pretty sure I follow all of these 24/7

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