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Debate: Lying

I’m no angel. I’m not claiming perfection in my own life or the realm of society. I’m not even arguing that I’m the portrait of honesty. However I am going on the record to say that I despise lying.

In the 21st century everything is a lie. The food we eat, the cars we drive, the movies we watch, the clothes we wear. Everything about mainstream civilization is a fabrication to some degree. With that said, I must stress the necessity of honesty amongst each other.

It is human nature to trust. Upon birth, we as humans do not automatically become these skeptical beings whom question every aspect of life, people, and their motives. We’re innocent, curious and perhaps naive. The problem being, that somewhere along the way, no matter when, or where, or who was responsible, we become jaded. We develop a sense of disbelief towards most things, and begin to question everything. In a lot of ways, this defense mechanism is healthy. It’s in ones best interest to assess situations, anticipate conclusions and proceed with caution. However, when this practice crosses over into our interaction with family and friends, a clear problem is imminent.

So many people fail to realize the fact that honesty and truthfulness are the only things holding us together. Once trust is stripped out of a relationship, everything is lost. When it is lost, it is extremely difficult to resurrect. Think about the last time you were lied to by someone close to you. How betrayed and violated did you feel? How quickly was your (once high) opinion of this person altered? Dishonesty changes everything in a relationship, and in virtually all cases ruins it.

People lie for various reasons. Some lie to get out of situations, to garner respect, to deceive, and to achieve. People lie to cover up insecurities, to hide secrets, or to avoid negative consequences. Many people tell little “white lies” to avoid hurting others, or “fibs” to make others comfortable. That being said, there are perhaps times when lying is necessary or even mandatory. Although in this notion, lays the problem. People imprisoned by dishonesty begin (over time) thinking that lying is always necessary. They assume that by lying in social situations/ in relationships, they will project a favorable depiction of themselves and hold face. It’s ugly, pathetic and utterly weak. Honesty is for the strong, and some are not worthy of its freedom.

I have been in various relationships (friendships and intimacies) where lying was present, and it has always resulted in the same thing. A cut-off. The single most important thing about any relationship that I am in, be it a buddy or a female of interest, is honesty. Life is short, and I am in no way inclined to spend any of my precious time on this planet with those I cannot trust.

Question: Why do you lie?

Comments

  • Jon.Godfrey

    I lie because I’m human. It’s just one of those things you’ll spend you’re life trying not to do, but never fully succeeding at. You got some serious passion in here my man, I respect that you are given a glimpse of what’s been stirring underneath the surface :D

  • John Gerontzos

    I lie because if others know my true identity; Spider-man, they may hurt my family.

    Just messin’ homie!
    Amazing piece my man. I love your constant questioning of society and it’s standards that have been ingrained into us like the air we breath.

    Keep going man. I fully expect you to be a social analyst in a few years, that is if you aint my boss at UM!

    PS I lie because it’s sooooooo much easier than telling the truth!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000583209773 Sabrina Camp

      I always thought u might be spiderman ;)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Rayyan-Said/100000584811929 Rayyan Said

    You should read Vital Lies: Simple Truths by Daniel Goleman

    http://www.amazon.com/Vital-Lies-Simple-Truths-Self-Deception/dp/0684831074

    Talks about how we have to lie in order to keep our sanity (well that’s just me paraphrasing). We lie to create social ‘blindspots’ in order to function properly. I haven’t finished reading my copy yet but you’re touching on a lot of things that shows that this book will intrigue you.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Christopher-Michael-Elliott/500513490 Christopher Michael Elliott

      I may have to check that out. It is an issue that has always fascinated and intrigued me.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000583209773 Sabrina Camp

    chris, amazing piece.
    gave me goose-bumps lol.
    maybe people lie because they’re scared of the truth.

    • Chris

      Thanks a lot Sabrina! I appreciate the love, and I’m glad that you agree.

  • Roseanne Elliott

    Being honest is sometimes soo much harder than “skirting” the truth. If you don’t have honesty in your relationships, then you don’t really have a relationship.

  • Jon.Godfrey

    This piece is definitely stirring up a lot of conversation. I have had more people approach me about this one than any other this week. Good job!

    However, I must add that I find lying essential… as much so as truth. Call my crazy, but I find a value in lying, and don’t get too offended when someone feels that they have to.

  • Anonymous

    Wow man, you’re writing is surreal. Great job.

    I can’t say I’ve ever really fallen into the habit of lying. I was never very good at it as a kid. It’s like as i’m telling the lie the truth is written on my face!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anastasia-Gordon/557955297 Anastasia Gordon

    always well written .

    We all have told “white lies” here and there …and it may or may not always be with bad intentions.

    When a person lies, they have broken a bond – an unspoken agreement to treat others as we would like to be treated. Serious deception often makes it impossible for us to trust another person again. Because the issue of trust is on the line, coming clean about the lie as soon as possible is the best way to mend fences and possibly rescue a relationship and many down the line.

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