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Whether it is Edmond Dantes life-long quest for vindication, or Rocky Balboa’s pursuit to pummel Ivan Drago audiences love a revenge story. I’ve discussed this adoration before, and I find myself returning to this conversation after watching Columbiana.

Starring the stunning Zoe Saldana, Columbiana is Luc Besson’s most recent femme fatale flick. Besson has produced, directed, and written numerous projects. His most popular titles include: Point of No Return; Leon: The Professional; and The Fifth Element. All three films exemplifying well trained women locked, cocked, and ready to rock.

Catalaya, the protagonist of Columbiana, is yet another brooding bitch to add to the batch. After seeing her family murdered in front of her she swears revenge and dedicates her life to accomplishing the task. Time passes and the scarred child grows into a world renowned killer. Olivier Megaton helms the project. Having directed Besson’s “Transporter 3” he brings similar excitement to this script. From parkour chase scenes in Central America to unexpected gun fights in the streets ofChicagothe movie is packed with ass-kicking and explosions. However, the film’s focus is grimmer than the flames of battle that brighten the screen.

Similar to Beatrix Kiddo (Kill Bill 1 & 2), Catalaya is reckless with her actions. Like John Matrix (Commando) she is armed to the teeth. Taking pointers for Judah Ben-Hur (Ben Hur) she is patient with the process, and as though she were channeling the spirit of Jennifer Hill (I Spit on Your Grave), she is a quiet and calculated killer.

She is also a great example of the futility of vengeance. Though we all love a revenge story, we tend to struggle through reenacting one. Lately I’ve had events transpire that have led me to lust after the taste of blood. But blood has its price. Revenge is never had without a personal cost, and often this cost is greater than the pay out. Fury often leads me to overlook this fact, but not this time. No, this time I will allow the dust to settle so I may proceed unblemished. The pain has been enough already, so unlike Catalaya I have no desire to add to it. Revenge is bittersweet, and today I’m passing on the dark chocolate. Lessons learned via my life at the movies.



  • Chris Elliott

    Great piece dude! Amazing insight as usual. Action movies are never my cup of tea, but this looks great. Hot-ass Zoey Saldana definitely does not hurt the equation! You keep getting better and better with this shit bro, and I’m always impressed. Keep it up slime!

    • Anonymous

      Always appreciate the love. This movie is actually amazing, I just went to keep up the Race to 100. She is a kick ass dime in it, and I HIGHLY recommend it for the fun factor. 

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